self-awareness

Staying calm(when raised to be anxious)

Stressful Times

I am feeling more anxious than the past few weeks this week.  I could feel it in my stomach, in my shoulders, and in the way I am more over-functioning than usual.  As Korea’s COVID situation becomes worse and China still yet to open its borders to us,  I am stuck in limbo in a local hotel on Jeju island.

When China’s border was clearly closed to all but the most politically or economically connected elites, I was quite calm. My family took it with stride.  When there is no hope in sight, there is at least the certainty of impossibility.  So we settle into our limbo state with tranquility that comes from resignation.   Now China has begun to open its border and our visa approval has started to arrive one small step at a time.  The tension all of sudden becomes more palpable.

When the body senses instability

If there was ever a time synonymous with instability, now would be it.  The world is on lockdown.   We are all impacted in one way or another.  Those with privileges are less affected by most without. No one is exempt.  The virus has united us even as it is exposing issues that divide us

We are in between houses as my partner’ contract with one country ended and our destination country has not yet opened its border fully.   How we will work, where we will work, how, and where we will live are all parts of the uncertainties we are living with.  The unpredictability of our own micro world intertwined that of the macro environment.